More Realistic Food Expiration Notices

Veggies

Eat on the subway by 3/24/14.

Throw away by 4/15/14.

Call your mom and ask her if this hummus is still good by 6/1/14.

Consume this way before 2016 because it’s hard to even imagine life that far in advance, you know?

Do not even try to read the expiration date on this loaf of bread because you’re never going to find it muah-ha-ha-ha.

Sleep eat by 4/1/14.

Mustard doesn’t go bad.

Sleep eat by 4/2/14.

Best by 3/12/14. That’s your birthday. Isn’t that funny? Well, I guess not funny enough to point out to your roommate… is it? No. She’s busy… Hey Carla?! …No, she’s busy. That’s funny though, a yogurt that expires on your birthday.

Sleep eat by 4/3/14. You have a problem.

Just smell it. If it smells okay you can put it in your coffee.

Christmas will be over by the time this goes bad. Sucks, huh?

Four years ago. Don’t buy tuna if you’re not going to make it, ‘kay bud?

Eat by – oh, you’re just going to dive into it right now, huh? We’re still technically in the grocery store…

To do by 3/31/14.

Best if eaten by 4/10/14. Better if eaten while sad.

You can find Kassia Miller on Twitter.

 

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