Four Beers, Five Minutes, One Mile

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TMZ reports(?) that U.S. Olympic track star ran the “Beer Mile” in 5:19.

What’s the “Beer Mile?”  Oh, it’s just that thing where you chug a beer before running every lap of a mile.

Now, I’m pretty positive I could never chug four beers in five minutes.  And I’m definitely positive I could never run a mile in 5 minutes and 19 seconds.

So what I’m going to do is just sit here and watch this video and realize that watching someone run a mile is boring no matter how many beers they drink or I drink.

[via BuzzFeed]

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Whatchu Know About Entertainment?

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Taking the Internet by storm today: “singer-entertainer-dj-emcee” Diamond Dave Hosley — the pride of the Lafayette, CA.

I’m guessing some people think this video is “funny” because it opens with a man in his mid-50s (at least!) covering LMFAO solo on a Roland keyboard.

But let me ask you a question: If you want quality entertainment, would you rather have it provided by a couple of freaky-looking weirdos who got their big break from nepotism by being relatives of Berry Gordy, Jr., the founder of Motown Records… or would you rather get it from a professional with over 30 years of experience??

Yeah, I thought so.  Case closed.

I forgot to mention that in this scenario I play a detective or something.

Case closed.

[via Gawker]

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World’s Tiniest Bicycle?

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I’m not sure if this is the world’s tiniest bicycle, but I’m pretty sure that guy has the world’s biggest self-esteem.

There’s the old saying “It’s like riding a bicycle” which means that once you’ve learned something, you don’t need to learn it again.

Let me coin the phrase “It’s like riding the world’s smallest bicycle” which means “Well, that was kind of pointless, but it’ll probably do well as an Internet video.”

[via The Daily What]

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More Proof Dogs Think They Can Play the Banjo but They Can’t

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People always ask, “Why are cats so popular on the Internet?  I’m a dog person.  I like dogs better.  Even monkeys are better than cats.  Any animal beats a cat, really.  Why am I still talking?”

Well here you go.  Here’s a dog playing the banjo.  And you know what, I could play the banjo better than that and I’m not even a dog.

Dogs just can’t hold their own in web videos.  And seriously, the banjo?  What?  You gonna start a bluegrass band, dog??  I prefer hip-hop.

I think I’ve proven my point.

[via CollegeHumor]

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The Business of the Internet

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Working on a YouTube channel is serious business. That’s why every morning I get up at the crack of dawn, put on a tie (so people know I’m serious), and take the subway to the Internet.

But if I was SUPER serious, I’d also get a matching tie for my cat.  Because nothing says “business” like a good tie, and nothing says “the Internet” like a cat.  So a cat with a tie essentially says “I am serious about the business of the Internet.”

This exact scenario is what happened to Redditor raypkit (seen above) who says that his “mom made matching ties for me and my cat.”

I gotta keep an eye out for Raypkit.  If I turn my back for one second, he may take my job.

[via Reddit]

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