It was recently announced that the US Olympic Committee chose Boston as its official nominee for the 2024 summer Olympics. That’s an insane choice, so we’ve come up with a list of 10 alternatives.

gotham w symbol
1) Gotham
It’s not the city we deserve, but it’s the one we need right now.

detroit
2) Detroit
At least when people set fire to cars in Detroit it’s for a better reason than “our baseball team lost.”

lego
3) The Lego City I Built in My Basement
There will be more space, also the people will be less racist.

sin city
4) Sin City

sim city
5) Sim City


broad city
6) Broad City
We’re really excited about this one. Can this be real, though? Maybe a whole Olympics arc for season 3?

kabul
7) Kabul
Unite the locals and insurgents through a nationalistic sporting competition!

vice city
8) Vice City
People will be more respectful to cops and prostitutes here.

city city
9) City City Bang Bang
This isn’t a city. It’s not even a real thing. It’s a pun. But it would still be better than Boston.

nagano
10) Nagano
Man, weren’t those a great Olympics? Those were the days. Ah, Nagano 1998. Tara Lipinski! Michelle Kwan! Nagano’s in the US, right? Yeah let’s just go back there.

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