1. I’ll stop writing “2015” on checks. 

via GIPHY

2. I’ll stop writing “2014” on checks. 

via GIPHY

3. I’ll definitely stop writing “2017” on checks. 

via GIPHY

4. I’ll finally say “TGIF” as soon as the clock strikes midnight. I will do this every Friday for the rest of the year. 

via GIPHY

5. I’ll wash my 2015 dishes. 

via GIPHY

6. I will reuse those dishes as “2016” dishes, for the environment. 

via GIPHY

7. I’ll do my 2015 laundry. 

via GIPHY

8. I will set my 2014 laundry on fire. 

via GIPHY

9. I’ll cross out all the dates on my calendar and manually change them, to prove how committed to the year I am. 

via GIPHY

10. I’ll scream “January” if anyone asks me for the month for the next 31 days. 

via GIPHY

11. “February” if anyone asks me for next month. 

via GIPHY

12. I’ll say “Well! Election year!” if anyone asks me how I am. 

via GIPHY

13. I will stop chanting the couplet “All of my neighbors, come over here! This day is one more in a very odd year!” (until 2017) 

via GIPHY

14. I will wish the Y2K bug a happy sixteenth birthday. 

via GIPHY

15. In fact, I will wish anyone born sixteen years ago a happy sixteenth birthday. 

via GIPHY

16. Anyone born fifteen years ago? A happy fifteenth birthday.

via GIPHY


17. I’ll reconsider my feud with the New Year’s baby, even though he knows what he did. 

via GIPHY

18. I’ll strengthen my feud with the Times Square ball. 

via GIPHY

19. I will invent a new base so I can seem sexually experienced. 

via GIPHY

20. I will fight to ensure that the song “Auld Lang Syne” be returned to its rightful Scottish owner and never sung again on these waters. 

via GIPHY

21. I will reach out to my old friends, even if I am banned from their nursing home. 

via GIPHY

22. I’ll memorize the Wikipedia page for 2016. 

via GIPHY

23. I will say something like, “I’ve been wearing this since 2015!” and point at the clothes I put on four hours ago and then laugh for ten minutes or until I am kicked out of wherever I am. 

via GIPHY

24. I’ll start preparing for the Leap Year by buying a bunker. 

via GIPHY

25. I’ll throw out all my shirts that say “Currently, it is 2015”.

via GIPHY

26. I’ll order new shirts that say, “Currently, it is 2016”. 

via GIPHY

27.I will fill my prescription for 2016 medicine. 

via GIPHY

28. If the expiration date of my food says “December 31, 2015,” I will claim that I ate food from last year and fall very ill for three weeks, as a very funny bit. 

via GIPHY

29. I will start training for the Summer Olympics because if not now, when?

via GIPHY

30. I will lose weight by untying those 2015 dumbbells from my ankles and wrists. 

via GIPHY

31. I will celebrate New Year’s every night for the first three months of 2016 to make my neighbors think they are going through some kind of “Groundhog Day” hell.

via GIPHY

32. I’ll cook more!

via GIPHY

Broti Gupta is a writer/student and wants more twitter followers because not a lot else is going on with her. Please humor her? @brotigupta.

Get Laughs in Your Inbox From Above Average!
We PROMISE to only send you funny stuff.