This week, Google announced its new “undo” feature allowing Gmail users to rescind a message after they’ve already sent it. Here are some other features we’d like to see added to gmail:

1) Mom Junk & Dad Bucket
momjunk
This feature dumps messages from your mom and your dad into separate folders, so you don’t have to put any effort whatsoever into communicating with the two people who brought you into this world. Now all your emails reminding you about the sale going on at the Gap will be in one place!

2) Chain Email Auto Forward
chain email
Statistics show that nearly 200 people die each year from not forwarding cursed chain emails. This handy feature automatically forwards any emails sent to you from beyond the grave to 25 different people, saving your time AND your life!

3) Passive Aggressive Translator
passive aggressive
This feature is perfect for when you and your roommate have a serious disagreement, but neither of you have the guts to actually do anything about it.


4) Niceify Button
nice 2
Have to deliver an unfortunate message to your employees? Use the Niceify Button to add an overabundance of exclamation points to the end of each sentence. People will be so distracted by the sheer volume of pink punctuation marks, they will forget you’re removing the SunChips from the employee lounge.

5) Drunk Alert
drunk
Say goodbye to late night emails to attractive co-workers! This feature reminds you of your alcoholic intake anytime you type too many y’s in the word “hey” or use the word “love” more than once between the hours of 12:30-7am.

6) Auto Avoid
auto avoid
Don’t want to go to drinks with that guy who lived on your floor freshman year who you recently ran into a Bed, Bath & Beyond? Don’t! Use Auto Avoid!!

7) Visual Response
visual response
This feature turns on your computer’s built-in webcam and records as you read the email for the first time. When you’re done, it sends the video in lieu of a written response so people know exactly how annoying and unnecessary their message was!

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