I’ve always fancied myself something of a twisted individual — no Coca-Cola for me, but rather a spicy Dr. Pepper, if you catch my drift. My sense of humor is famously random, and my hot sauce collection speaks for itself!

So when I heard a radio advertisement for an entire Warped Tour enlisting today’s hottest alternative artists and extreme sports stars to perform in a veritable carnival of the deranged at the local sports arena parking lot, I knew I had to attend. After all, I’d been to my share of concerts on the plaza before, and knew what I was getting myself into!

Or so I thought, until seeing the lead singer of one particularly rocking band take the stage.

A boy with an earring? Damn, they weren’t kidding: this tour really IS warped.

Look closer: this is NOT a bearded girl, but a boy with an earring!

Look closer: this is NOT a bearded girl, but a boy with an earring!

Here I thought I had some command of the offbeat, some grasp of alternative culture. I know the word “Warped” is right there in the title after “Vans” (the underground shoe company), but I had no idea there were even stores that would let a boy get his ear pierced. Looks like this tour that has left me most warped of all!

Move over backwards hat, you heard it here first: there’s a whole new head-wear disruption occurring at concerts everywhere. Boys are wearing earrings now, and they’re here to stay.

Unless you’re my son. I would never let my son wear an earring.

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