Following his offensive remarks on Mexicans and immigration, one company after another has publicly disassociated from Donald Trump. For example:

Organizations that have dumped Trump

  • Univision
  • Macy’s
  • Televisa
  • NBC Universal
  • Farouk Systems
  • Serta
  • ESPN
  • PGA
  • PVH
  • Jose Andres and Geoffrey Zakarian
  • Perfumania
  • The FAA

But two big names have yet to publicly denounce the 2016 presidential candidate:

Organizations that have not dumped Trump

  • The Republican Party
  • Satan

Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus called Trump last week to politely request he “tone it down” on the racist rhetoric, but he continued to happily include the racist in his political party. Senator Ted Cruz gave Trump’s insane comments a glowing review: “I salute Donald Trump for focusing on the need to address illegal immigration.” For his part, Satan has mostly stayed out of the debate, citing the fact that he’s “not super political,” although he echoed the tone of the GOP:

“I thought his comments were a little nutty,” said Satan over small plates in the West Village yesterday.  “But I think immigration is a serious issue, and frankly, he’s mentored and funded a lot of evil projects in hell, so I’m happy to keep him in my circle.”

Even as companies like Macy’s end a profitable, eleven-year relationship with Trump, both the GOP and Satan are resisting any public condemnation.  In fact, Trump is polling extremely well with Republicans, a close second only to Jeb Bush in the race for 2016 Republican Presidential candidate. The prince of darkness weighed in on Trump’s popularity:

“Everyone I know is pretty psyched on him.  I think most people feel that, as servants of Satan and inhabitants of the underworld, Donald Trump is the only candidate who really represents their interests.  Oh – and that’s how everyone in hell feels, too. Haha!”

With moves like Univision cancelling its broadcast of the Trump-affiliated Miss USA pageant, it’s hard to imagine why Satan and the GOP continue to stand by him.  Even Bush, who was originally critical of the comments, offered Trump some understanding last week: “I don’t think he thinks every Mexican crossing the border is a rapist.” A generous statement from someone whose wife Trump would likely characterize as “not necessarily a rapist.”

Perhaps Satan, the lord of evil, had the best explanation for this phenomenon: “Despite some of his missteps, his extreme point of view on some issues, at the end of the day, this is the dude who made Celebrity Apprentice and, man, I just really, really love that show. So good, dude.”

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