Yale Archaelogist Dr. Randi Volk introduced a fascinating discovery that has thrown everything we thought we knew about Early Man into disarray.

“For centuries, we have been piecing together how early humans, as far back as 350,000 years ago, created and then learned to control fire,” Volk explained. “This is obviously a seminal moment in our species’ removal from the global food chain.”


Volk continued by noting that these hominids actually possessed a primitive beta version of what is now known as the Samsung Galaxy 7, a very common modern-day fire starter.

“Perhaps you use your Samsung Galaxy phone for cooking or warmth or warding off predators as so many do these days,” Volk said. “But millennia ago, using your phone in this way was actually very, very rare.”

“But why would they invent this impressive wireless technology, and then stop using it for hundreds of thousands of years?” Volk mused.


Were they texting each other? Given that there is no record of a written language for another 345,000 years, this would be surprising, to say the least.

Paleontologists and forensic ancient historians remain quite confident in their long-held thesis that Ardipithecus kadabba created fire by knocking two flint rocks together 200,000 years ago, but this new Samsung Theory has everyone in the archaeology community buzzing. Science is a truly incredible field.

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