This was a great year for monsters of the deep to flop ashore and scare the living bejesus out of you. The 2016 edition is filled with more slimy creepy swimmies than ever! Each of these is nastier than the next. Remember: the deep deep ocean is unknowable and filled with bottom dwelling demons. We look forward to seeing what burbles up in 2017!
7. Smiling Dried Up Eel Shark
6. Chicken Goat of the Sea
THE FUCK IS THIS MONSTER??? The half-amphibian half-mammal pan of the ocean. I’ve seen this before…IN MY DEMON FILLED NIGHTMARES. VOM.
5. Suck Monster Fish
Imagine if you found this at the bottom of your shower. You’d never stop screaming. You’d end up like one of those witnesses in a horror movie who is wheeled out to meet the detective, dribbling out the side of your mouth with extreme fear in your eyes, who mysteriously dies or kills themselves two thirds of the way through.
4. Bloody Blob
WHICH PART IS THE TOP. IS THAT BLOOD. IS THIS A WHALE PLACENTA. IT MAKES ME WANT TO DIE.
3. Disgusting Hairy Squid
EEEEEEEEEEEW THIS IS SERIOUSLY SO GROSS I HATE IT
2. Chef’s Knife Fish
Is this one of those fish that slips into the urethra in the Amazon? Nasty!
Oh wait. I recognize this guy. He’s cool, he can come in