Upon receiving word that his wife Hillary has all but secured the Democratic party’s nomination for President of the United States, former president Bill Clinton has retrieved the treasure map leading to several old copies of Juggs buried in the White House lawn. A gentle yelp of “Hoo yeah” to himself indicated that Mr. Clinton is eagerly anticipating unearthing the magazines.

It is presumed that Bill himself buried the magazines in the lawn as he did not know where else to hide them from his family and White House staff. Juggs, a softcore pornographic magazine focusing on women with enormous breasts, was a favorite of the 42nd President, who served from 1993 through 2001.


The handwriting on the map itself too resembles Mr. Clinton’s handwriting, though hasty and frantic, as if made in a hurry. In lieu of an “X” to indicate the stash, the location is marked by a single drawn breast next to the word “Girlies.”

After briefly perusing the map and hiding it away again, the former President Clinton was observed placing a phone call to current Vice President Joe Biden to ask if the White House had a shovel.

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