Hey Carl, hon? Yep, I’m in the basement just grabbing my dungarees from the washer. Yes, the Levi dungarees Lanie spilled BBQ sauce on at the Forum Club fundraiser. Anyway I just wanted to shout up a quick little ‘broiler alert’ – I’m toasting some crostini in the oven so be careful!

Wooo, I — yes, I just — ho boy! Ohhh, yes, hon, I’m fine. I just cant stop laughing, I — did you hear me? Did you hear what I said? I said there’s a ‘broiler alert’ on for the kitchen. Because I’m toasting little breads in the oven so the front and top are a little warm to the touch.


Darn Lanie.

What do you mean, “What’s a broiler alert?” It’s a joke, Carl. Like a “spoiler alert” but instead a “broiler alert” because it’s about the oven. What do you mean, “What’s a spoiler alert?” Really, Carl? Do you really not know or are you just busting my chops? Don’t bust my chops, Carl, I’m already grumpy about these Levi’s.

Alright, well, a ‘spoiler alert’ is the warning for when you’re about so talk about a big plot twist on a television show. So for example I’d say “Spoiler alert: those mean Night’s Watch boys killed handsome Jon Snow.”

Oh for Pete’s sake, Carl, you were never going to start watching Game of Thrones if you hadn’t already. Besides, I said “Spoiler alert,” that’s your signal to cover your ears. If I say “Spoiler alert,” you have to either say “No, no, stop” or cover your ears!

Well what did you go and punch the oven for, Carl? Of course it’s hot, I said there’s a darn broiler alert! I’m toasting crostinis! THEY’RE LITTLE BREADS FOR APPETIZERS, CARL. Weren’t you listening? Nevermind, get the keys, let’s get you some stitches.


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