Um, we can’t even. Like, we can’t EVEN! So we over at Buzzfeed found out that we #missed #our #revenue #projections by, like, A LOT. When we found out, our board was like:
But there’s a good reason we missed our revenue projections by so much. See, at Buzzfeed we’re MILLENIALS. We text and drive, looove spice (the drug) and are pushing for the legal right to marry early 90s cartoons. The concept of actual currency is tough to wrap our minds around as it does not involve nostalgia and cannot be livestreamed. So we were under the impression that GIFs of money could be uploaded to our bank and accepted as regular money. When our bank said, “No, it has to be real money. And why are you sucking on 3 Blow Pops at once,” we were like:
No one had every told us that our revenue projections were actually, like, in real American dollars. We just assumed there was some formula that would translate Facebook likes to money GIFs and then we’d be like:
Blergh #tinafey ANYWAY, we’re really sorry to all our fans and we promise we’re figuring out this whole content into money thing. I mean if they figured out alchemy we can figure out how to make a billion dollars on Buzzfeed.
They figured out alchemy, right? We didn’t read past the first sentence on the Wikipedia page but like, we assume.