Every year, fast-food chain Chick-fil-A brainstorms a way to ‘get’ America with a hilarious prank. This year, they outdid themselves on a corporate level by welcoming all people into its stores.
“It was either this or putting saran wrap on all of our toilets,” snickered Chick-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy. “Um, yeah, we think we made the right choice.”
Chick-fil-A executives could be seen visiting store locations to stifle giggles as they opened their doors to all people, regardless of their race, religion, sexual orientation, country of origin, height, or Team Edward/Team Jacob preference.
“We got [this country] so good!” laughed Porter Coteri, VP of Operations for Chick-fil-A. “They came in and bought food and felt like the equals that they are. Hahaha. Epic.”
Members of the LGBTQ community from across the nation were seen trepidatiously entering the delicious-smelling franchises and ordering food which was promptly brought to them in bags or on trays.
“These sandwiches are so freaking good,” lamented conflicted liberal Elizabeth Redd. “Why do they have to be dicks 364 days a year? They’re so crunchy and savory. Damn everything to hell.”