Maintaining good employee morale is essential for maximizing workplace productivity. Some CEOs take their companies on weekend retreats, while others encourage their workers to get to know each other through after-hours events at bars or restaurants.

But me? I’ve always thought of myself as an executive who thinks outside the box, outside the norm, outside the accepted standards of health and safety. That’s why, when all 73 people in my company were set to receive their fall flu shots this week, I told everyone they had to use the same needle.

Dangerous? Sure. Irresponsible? You betcha.

But unifying? Hell’s yes.

And sure, they haven’t done any actual work today, because they’ve been pretty busy sending me emails all day about how they refuse to get flu shots if this is the policy.

But this is the first time I’ve gotten everyone in the company to agree on anything! I once emailed the company to say, “Hey, great job last quarter, I’m ordering pizza this Friday to celebrate!”, and it set off an 873-email chain covering everything from which toppings are “literally worse than Hitler” to something called “gluten-insensitivity.”

Do I deserve a Nobel Prize for Business Excellence? Probably. But I don’t really care about flashy awards. Increased profit margin driven from employee labor is more than enough for me.

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