They say that most careers don’t follow a straight line, that they can take unexpected turns. And this seems to be true for local construction worker Kevin Frattolilo who is retiring from the construction business after just ten years. Says Frattolilo, “I just realized that building stuff has never been my passion: catcalling women is. And it’s time for me to follow that passion full time.”


Frattolilo continued, “Truth be told, I’ve never been very good at installing dry wall or jack hammering cement or whatever the hell. Where my skills really shine? Noticing women on the street who aren’t smiling and telling them to smile. Or recognizing when a really sweet ass walks by and calling that shit out. But I never would have discovered this dream of mine if I hadn’t spent the past ten years sitting around construction sites, shouting at women with my best buds.”

Frattolilo wiped a tear from his cheek, overcome with emotion. “I’m really gonna miss these guys, and I’m not sure what’s next for me which is scary—EEY OO! I’D LOVE TO PRESS MY FACE INTO THOSE TITTIES, MAMA!” Frattolilo proceeded to holler at a woman pushing a baby stroller, groping generously at his own genitals. After she had passed, he beamed, “What I’m feeling now? That high? I just want to chase this feeling for the rest of my life.”

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