Michael, Daniel, Aaron… Boys, come here for a minute, I have something I want to share with you. Now, you know this is very special time of year for us Jews: the high holidays. Well, this year you all had your bar mitzvahs, yes? So, I have a special treat for you on this Rosh Hashana. What do you say we all head out back to blaze and I’ll show you the real high holidays.

You heard me right. Don’t believe me? Just check out this ultra-dank nug of bud right here. We call this strain Blue Dream, and it’s straight from California. Oy Vey! Am I right?

Listen, the high holidays are a serious time of reflection, renewal, and atonement. They are also a great time to take a fat rip of this sativa-dominant hybrid kush and kvetch about our family members! I kid! Or do I?

This guy gives a super mellow and energetic high, so don’t worry, you won’t get all droopy-eyed in front of mom and dad. And I’ve got some Visine and Binaca right here, so we’ll be good to go. Let me be your Joshua and lead you to the promised land of out back by the dumpsters where I normally toke up before services.

Alright, let’s get our tuchuses out there and hit this fatty, and then I’ve gotta book it to Rosh Hashana dinner because I’m gonna need to nosh hard after puffing this shit.

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