Okay, Curiosity, listen. I tried to be supportive of when you were like “oh, I’m really getting into photography these days.” I was like, “Yeah! Do it! I know you only cost $2.5 billion to make, but if your dream is to get into a super-hipstery art form, fine, follow your bliss.”

But this recent batch? Dude. Ew. It’s all these low angle, intentionally grainy pictures of deserts. How about a tree or something? Or a portrait of a smiling person once in a while? Just because it’s depressing doesn’t make it art, man. Jeez.

I mean, just take a look at this artsy bullshit:

IN SPACE - AUGUST 22:  In this handout provided by NASA/JPL-Caltech, tracks from NASA's Curiosity Mars rover are seen August 22, 2012 on Mars. According to NASA, the rover moved forward 15 feet, then rotated 120 degrees before reversing 8.2 feet during its first time moving.  (Photo by NASA/JPL-Caltech via Getty Images)

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Oh wow, Curiosity. Your own footprints. How original.


WINDJANA, MARS - APRIL/MAY 2015:  In this handout composite provided by NASA/JPL-Caltech/MSSS  NASA's Curiosity Mars rover used the camera at the end of its arm in April and May 2014 to take dozens of component images combined into this self-portrait where the rover drilled into a sandstone target called "Windjana." The camera is the Mars Hand Lens Imager (MAHLI), which previously recorded portraits of Curiosity at two other important sites during the mission. (Photo by NASA/JPL-Caltech/MSSS via Getty Images)

You’ve got to be the first photographer in history to do a self-portrait. Incredible stuff, man. Way to go.

Diverse Terrain Types on Mount Sharp, Mars

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What in the ever-loving fuck is this? Photographs should be rectangles.

Oh, and one more thing: please stop guilting me about coming to your next gallery opening. I’m sorry that I have a JOB, okay? Just because I can’t take seven months off to go to Mars, see your photographs hanging on the wall, and then take the seven month trip back to Earth doesn’t mean I’m a bad friend.

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