Okay, Curiosity, listen. I tried to be supportive of when you were like “oh, I’m really getting into photography these days.” I was like, “Yeah! Do it! I know you only cost $2.5 billion to make, but if your dream is to get into a super-hipstery art form, fine, follow your bliss.”
But this recent batch? Dude. Ew. It’s all these low angle, intentionally grainy pictures of deserts. How about a tree or something? Or a portrait of a smiling person once in a while? Just because it’s depressing doesn’t make it art, man. Jeez.
I mean, just take a look at this artsy bullshit:
Oh wow, Curiosity. Your own footprints. How original.
You’ve got to be the first photographer in history to do a self-portrait. Incredible stuff, man. Way to go.
What in the ever-loving fuck is this? Photographs should be rectangles.
Oh, and one more thing: please stop guilting me about coming to your next gallery opening. I’m sorry that I have a JOB, okay? Just because I can’t take seven months off to go to Mars, see your photographs hanging on the wall, and then take the seven month trip back to Earth doesn’t mean I’m a bad friend.