The DNC announced plans to hold memorial services for 17 interns who perished blowing up all the convention balloons by mouth.

“These young people died sort of in service to their country,” read a statement released by Interim DNC Chair Donna Brazile. “We needed those balloons, all of them, every single one. And we really underestimated how many air pumps we’d need to get them all inflated. When called upon, those Georgetown sophomores gave their life to make sure we had so, so many balloons to drop on the convention floor.”

When asked whether the death of 17 young people was worth the balloon drop Brazile paused and replied, “Sorry, are you insane? No, I’m just asking because those balloons were so fun, I’d personally kill a hundred Georgetown sophomores to have it happen again. Did you see the big blue ones? Bill Clinton picked it up and carried it around like he was a baby. So, yeah, I think it was worth it.”


The service is scheduled for next Wednesday. In lieu of flowers, please send balloons because, man, balloons really are very fun.

Images via Getty

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