A Cambridge scientist has made a fascinating new discovery that is putting doctors out of work and driving the medical community insane with rage!

Doctors around the world are furious about this revolutionary method that mixes old home remedies with new scientific discoveries to murder them in cold blood. We spoke to physicians all across the country and all of them are fuming over this weird trick that is changing the landscape of healthcare in America.

“This guy has me terrified,” said Mark Raskin, a cardiologist from Chicago. “The weird trick doesn’t bother me at all but four of my closest friends and colleagues have been killed in the last month. Where is law enforcement?”

Doctor Kills Inline

“Yes I hate the man, but his method is irrelevant to me,” said Sarah Casey, a geneticist in California. “I don’t care about the logistics of the murdering, I just care about the fact that there’s this guy running around murdering people. Why is this so confusing to you?”

“We’re dealing with a serial killer,” said one doctor who was so upset about this brilliant and simple trick that anyone can do from home in just 30 seconds, that he wished to stay anonymous. “It’s not about job security, it’s about life security. It’s savage and it’s heartbreaking. I’m afraid to go to work everyday,” he said, crying.

Wow! Find out more about this weird trick that is throwing the medical elites into a frenzy and help change the face of healthcare… guaranteed!

Jeremy Kaplowitz is a comedian in NYC and the creator of Lizard People of New York. You can find his tweets @jeremysmiles before he deletes them out of shame. 

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