The country of Mexico is running up quite the tab with Donald Trump.
The Donald announced he plans to take the entire United States to an all expenses paid happy hour this afternoon to celebrate the Mexican holiday of Cinco de Mayo.
In his announcement Trump declared, “Anything you want, people. Margaritas, loaded nachos, jalapeño poppers — whatever you want, really. I mean, you’ve never seen a happy hour like the one I’m gonna do. You want non-Mexican food? You want some sliders? Some little beef sliders? Have them. And Mexico is gonna pay, just like they’re paying for the wall.”
When asked for details on how exactly Trump plans to make Mexico pay for the happy hour, Trump replied, “I’ve done it before. One time, I broke a lamp in my mother’s house. I told my mother our Mexican cleaning lady did it. I said, ‘Maria did it, I saw her.’ And no one could prove me wrong. So I’m just going to run up a tab, say Mexico did it and leave the bar. Who’s gonna stop me? Maria? She’s dead and I’m basically president.”
When he was briefed on Donald’s plan, Mexican president Enrique Nieto responded, “No.”
The happy hour is to take place at 4pm at Señor Frogs in New York’s Times Square. Trump has extended an invitation to all natural born Americans except for “losers, liars and Rosie O’Donnell.”