Donald Trump is excited to take the stage Thursday at the Republican National Convention and accept the title of Miss America. This is something he has dreamed of since he was a little boy. “I can’t wait to get up there and have all those old white men hootin’ and hollerin’ for me. I feel like a real life Cinderella,” Trump absolutely said.

“Ted Cruz thought he was going to be voted Miss America. But I showed him. He’s not pretty at all, I am the prettiest boy in America. All the people think so,” Trump 100% told a group of reporters in his dressing room backstage at the RNC.


He’s definitely not cute enough to be my runner-up.

“I can’t believe Chris Christie thought he was going to be my First Runner Up Miss America. He is not cute at all. Mike Pence is so much cuter and nicer than Chris Christie will ever be, which is I picked him to be my best friend.”

Trump is already outlining his plan of attack for future pageants, “I can’t wait until the Miss World competition. I am going to show those NATO bitches what’s up.” This is the first year that an outsider like Trump will be crowned Miss America, and none of the judges are regretting their decision at all.

Karin is a cool babe who keeps things chill unless the sitch calls for her to ramp it up, then she does. She writes, and performs at the UCB in New York.@karilouhamm 

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