Rihanna, girl, you know how I feel about you. We’re on-again, off-again but we’ll always be friends. We’re collaborators, companions and sometimes it feels like you’re the only person who can understand my life. I have deep love and respect for you. It’s like I said in your hit song Work: “If you had a twin/I would still choose you.” And it’s true, I would. But, Ri, why didn’t you tell me you have a twin?

I’m not saying you do have a twin, Ri. But I’m saying, in this fictional scenario that I’ve created wherein you have a twin, why didn’t you tell me? Why did you force me into this awkward situation? It feels like you manufactured this false dichotomy of choosing between you and your twin. When someone has a twin, everyone in their life doesn’t have to ‘choose’ between them. And if I had to choose, I’m gonna choose you. But the fact that you covered up your twin’s existence for all these years really makes me doubt our closeness. I choose you, Ri, but —


Is it a twin or a clone? There’s a difference.

Ugh, sorry, there I go musing too hard on my own lyrics. You don’t have a twin and you’re not making me choose. I made that up, I said that. This is just like when I wrote that lyric “Mind in one place, heart in another” for my feat on It’s Good by Lil Wayne. Remember? And I spent the whole weekend looking for my mind and heart? Damn, sometimes I really believe too hard in my own lyrics, huh? Anyway, yes, if you had a twin I’d still choose you. If you had a clone though…that’s when things get tough.

A clone is you. Genetically it IS you. Ugh but then again, so is an identical twin. I guess it really comes down to whether or not you have had identical life experiences. Is the clone a replicant who has been programmed with the exact same memories as you? Does the clone believe it is Rihanna as well? If you had a twin I would still choose you but if you had a replicant I don’t —

Oh boy, there I go again. Sorry, babe. Yeah, let’s go for a walk. I need to clear my mind of my own lyrics. That’s what happens when you’re the best rapper in the game. You start to believe in and become afraid of your own lyrics. No? That doesn’t happen to everyone? Sick.


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