Once upon a time, Lithuanian street artists Mindaugas Bonanu painted and mural of Donald Trump and Vladmir Putin kissing. This inspired our erotic fanfiction series between the larger than life figures. This is Volume II, catch-up on Volume I if you missed it.
“My desires are…” Strong Putin whispered, “Unconventional”.
Lust tingles the grandiose room like a August breeze. The two share a brave stare.
“I HAVE THE MOST UNCONVENTIONAL DESIRES. YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE IT! EVERYONE AGREES THAT I’M THE MOST UNCONVENTIONAL MAN WITH THE MOST UNCONVENTIONAL DESIRES IN THE WORLD. ASK ANYONE YOU KNOW. THEY’LL SAY BIG TRUMP IS UNCONVENTIONAL,” Big Trump screams in one fowl breathe.
Strong Putin presses a cold finger across Big Trump’s lips. Big Trump flickers his black tongue like a viper, coating Strong Putin with saliva.
“нет говорить тупой американский.”
“I DON’T SPEAK WHAT YOU ARE SPEAKING. THIS IS AMERICA WE SPEAK ENGLISH HERE,” Big Trump retorts pointing to his “Build the Wall” tattoo.
Suddenly, the air deflates. The room feels as sterile as a 72 year old “billionaire”. Trump has pinched a Russian nerve. Strong Putin fumbles for his trench coat and bolts for the gilded doors. A single icy tear streams down his face.
“пока,” Strong Putin breaths.
Big Trump insists, “YOU RUSSIANS. YOU’RE A BUNCH OF SENSITIVE CRIMINALS. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO BE A WORLD LEADER IF YOU CRY LIKE A BABY WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-”
The door slams.
“I HAVE BLUE BALLS,” Big Trump moans grasping at his tiny, tiny, TINY manhood.
“If I may be of service, master,” inquires the Racist Butler rubbing Lubriderm between his decrepit fingers.
“I WOULD NEVER HAVE SEX WITH AN EMPLOYEE UNLESS THEY ARE A CONTESTANT ON THE ULTIMATE MERGER, THE APPRENTICE, OR MISS UNIVERSE THAT NEEDS TO FURTHER THEIR CAREER.
“Very well.” The Racist Butler pulls out an X-Acto knife, prepared to disembowel himself in the traditional Japanese Sepuku. At that very moment the telephone rings.
“Hello,” answers the Racist Butler. A long pause. He hangs up.
Racist Butler turns to Big Trump, “Strong Putin is stuck in U.S. Customs and need to seduce his way out.”
“FIRSTLY, I DON’T MAKE LOVE, I GET FREAKY,” declares Big Trump as the Racist Butler helps him put on his girdle.
“WAIT, YOU SPEAK RUSSIAN?”
TO BE CONTINUED…