Let’s start with the simple math: it doesn’t appear that Harambe can win. While he is currently pulling in 5% of the votes in a recent poll, his support is on a downward trend.

most compelling aspect of this particular race is that Harambe is not a person (meaning he cannot be sworn in under the current U.S. Constitution), and he is dead (severely hampering his ability to perform presidential duties, such as making important policy decisions).

I think even the most ardent Democratic or Republican supporters agree that a strong third party option would ultimately be a good thing for our nation’s democracy. But from a purely practical standpoint, a vote for a dead gorilla is simply not a vote that will enact any of the positive changes you want (and deserve!) in this world.

It’s pretty easy to see that, historically, the American people have shied away from electing a gorilla, let alone a dead one. The odds appear to be no different here in 2016.

Look, we’re not here to tell you whom to vote for. We just thought you should know. Your vote is your power, your voice in how this country is run. Don’t let it go to waste on your nutz. Use it for deez nutz.

Thanks for reading.

Get Laughs in Your Inbox From Above Average!
We PROMISE to only send you funny stuff.