Whether you’re a man or a woman, I think we can all agree that the main problem with women is that they don’t get jokes. Whereas a woman may think it is funny to humiliate me by being more successful at work and putting me in the friend zone, she will also refuse to laugh at my “Female Body Inspector” shirt and ask me to leave her alone at the bar. She just does not understand that Female Body Inspector” shirts are a good joke because a cop would never violate a woman’s body!

The idea of a federal law officer molesting a woman in custody is literally insane, and that’s what makes the “Female Body Inspector” shirt such a good joke. Many top jokes are predicated on absurd scenarios such as an armed authority figure getting handsy with someone against their will, so this famous shirt has certainly earned its place in that pantheon right alongside my “Ass, Gas, or Grass” bumper sticker and a DVD copy of of American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile.

This woman should not be afraid of being touched inappropriately, she's hot and literally has all the power.

This woman should not be afraid of being assaulted, she’s hot and literally has all the power.


Just as my male gamer friends appreciate the good joke of a “Game Over” t-shirt with a bride and groom on it (on account of marriage being a literal, unceasing hell of holding her purse for her and not being allowed to game as I please), men just understand the humor of the “Female Body Inspector” better than women – the humor, of course, being that it’s just a joke and not a big deal, and that women shouldn’t be afraid to pull over in a secluded area by a police officer.

That’s what makes the shirt such a good joke! Women make me so fucking mad sometimes.

Get Laughs in Your Inbox From Above Average!
We PROMISE to only send you funny stuff.