Though Donald Trump defended his performance at Monday night’s debate, he admitted,“I did a tremendous job, but at the next one, I’m gonna be even tremendouser.” With that in mind, he went back to the debate tapes to analyze the moments where he could have interrupted Hillary Clinton more.
Pen and notepad in hand, he carefully reviewed his performance. “You see? This would have been a perfect opportunity to yell ‘WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!’” Trump said as he gestured emphatically towards the television screen.
“I sipped so much water, I missed my chance to cut Hillary off here. Why was I so thirsty, anyway?” he contemplated, chewing the cap of his pen. “Must have had something to do with my tampered mic. Very suspicious, I tell you.”
“And see here?” he continued, tapping his pen on the screen, “I was planning on making car alarm noises while Hillary was rambling about women stuff. But I held back, because Chelsea was in the audience.”
After thoroughly parsing the tapes, he paused on an image of himself yelling. “That,” he said proudly, “is the face of the next President of the United States.”