You fucking kidding me?
No. No no no no no. Parents? What the fuck is happening? No one’s vaccinating kids? This is a complete crock of shit. I didn’t spend my entire life fighting Anti-Semitism, earning a graduate degree in Virology, coming up with a Polio vaccine, and then giving it away FOR FREE to see all my work undone at the hands of some dirty hippies from Southern California.
To these parents who have made the oh-so-intelligent decision to not vaccinate their kids: How many medical degrees do you have? How many pandemic-causing viruses have you single-handedly eradicated? That’s an aggressively dangerous and permanent decision you’re making on behalf of your child… but I’m sure you’ve done just as many years of research as I have before you’d put your infant’s life and others’ at stake like that.
Yeah that’s what I fucking thought.
Oh, I’m sorry, do you WANT Polio back? Is that the deal? Is Poliomyelitis – a disease that causes horrifying pain, infantile paralysis, and death – something you want? Because if it is, then by all means. I’m sorry, I was just under the impression that you would rather your kids be alive than have their bodies scrambled to oblivion by a disease that kills them slowly.
God, and this Jenny McCarthy. Now that’s a real piece of shit. ONE porn star’s kid has trouble making eye contact and all of a sudden we should tell EVERY DOCTOR EVER to go screw? Oh, that makes sense. No, I’m sorry, you’re totally right. You walking bag of sewage. It must be nice to live in a world where diseases are this thing you can just casually choose to ignore. I grew up at the beginning of the 20th century. Did you forget how many kids used to die of incurable diseases before vaccines were invented? Quick reminder: ALL OF THEM.
One sec, my pal John Franklin Enders is here and he wants to write something:
For real? Is this for real. I’m so fucking mad I can’t even right now. You all BEGGED me for a measles cure.
I was on the cover of Time magazine for all the children I saved. My face is on a STAMP. Did you guys just FORGET how horrible measles are? Here, let me give you the measles so you can see what it feels like to- OH NO WAIT I CAN’T GIVE YOU THE MEASLES BECAUSE THE VACCINATION YOU GOT MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO GET THE MEASLES. THAT’S HOW VACCINES WORK.
You know what, all of you can eat my asshole. I regret that we cured the measles. Because if I hadn’t, you all probably would have died from it, and then you never would have been able to procreate and spew your unresearched, armchair scientist bullshit at the world.
Vaccinate your kids you dumb, self-righteous fucks.
Jonas Salk & John Franklin Enders