In this topsy-turvy world where nothing seems permanent and tradition is often cast aside, it’s so comforting to see what Cosmopolitan magazine still thinks is sex: one white man with a six pack and one ethnically-ambiguous woman with gorgeous, slippery legs, writhing in ecstasy in the missionary position, their genitals at least 6 inches away from each other.
“There’s just no reason to depict any other kind of sex between any other people – this is the best kind,” said Jax Dixswell, editor of Cosmopolitan’s Sex & Relationships section. “I’m a white guy with a six pack and I can tell you, I only fuck girls who are not white but not too not-white, know what I mean? And by ‘fuck’ of course I mean hold them around the waist while we both arch our backs and close our eyes.”
As definitions of sexuality, gender, and identity evolve throughout the world, Cosmo (as insiders refer to it) is sticking to its guns. “As long as we’re still encouraging women – who almost never orgasm – to give men – who literally always orgasm – better orgasms, we might as well stick with the art we came up with in 1993,” says Jax.