Presidential nominee Gary Johnson’s campaign got a much-needed boost this morning, as the Libertarian candidate had his curfew extended until well-past his established bedtime.
“He finished his Sleepy Time Tea in record time before beddy bye,” said Johnson’s campaign manager Ron Nielson. “Real spring in his step these days. This was a welcome, welcome change.
“Oh, hold on, he just woke up,” Nielson continued. “Gonna bring him a juicebox. Shhh, Gary. Shhhh. Ronnie’s here now. That’s a good presidential nominee. Yummy juice!”
In addition to the extended curfew, Johnson no longer needs to raise his hand during campaign briefings to ask to use the bathroom. He can just go whenever he needs to now.
Despite the newfound hours in the day that he could spend campaigning, calling donors, or reviewing poll numbers, Johnson was seen yawning adorably and retiring to his chambers at 9:30pm.