One brave, handsome and morally complex secret service agent has agreed to be “the Jaime Lannister of the Secret Service”, should the need arise. The agent, speaking on the condition of anonymity explained his position:


CIA Director John Brennan is totally Varys!

“Look, Trump might get elected, putting us in a Mad King Aerys situation. We’d be honor bound to protect him but once he starts nuking California, the Secret Service will be torn between honor and doing what’s right. So in this we’re the Kingsguard, get it? And no one WANTS to be the Kingslayer but everyone owes him their life. I’ll be that guy if America needs me.”

The agent continued to map the different elements of the current election to Game of Thrones. “Ivanka, she’s Cersei and Hillary is maybe Robert Baratheon. Oh, and this straight chick at my kickboxing gym is totally Brienne. Sometimes we spar but I think I love her.”

The agent abruptly ended the interview upon a report that Joe Biden had lost a chocolate chip cookie in the Oval Office and needed assistance. Before scooting away the agent offerred one last remark, “I’m saying I’ll kill Trump when he inevitably loses his mind, you get that, right? Game of Thrones? Ok, I gotta go.”

Images via HBO, Shutterstock

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