The Walt Disney Company has been a constant among parents who want their children to watch educational programs while learning the importance of acceptance and equality. This why Disney’s most recent scandal should be taken seriously.

Jenny Anderson and her Latino wife, Paula, were watching a new Disney Channel Original Movie with their children over the weekend and were appalled to discover that the main characters were in a heterosexual relationship.

“We were completely blindsided,” Jenny wrote on her most recent petition. “We work very hard to ensure our children aren’t exposed to, what they call, ‘traditional’ marriage.”


Jenny claims that this propaganda was planted by the Heteros over at Fox News and is petitioning to have the channel shut down for constantly trying to straighten their children. The Disney and Fox Spokesmen have yet to comment on these claims.


We recently sat down with the Andersons to see how they were coping after Saturday’s tragic events.

“We prayed the day would never come when we needed to explain to our children what the Straights are and why they are attracted to the opposite sex,” Jenny said, sobbing. Her petition has received over 86,000 signatures in the past two days, proving that parents fear the Heterosexual Agenda will stifle their children’s sexual fluidity.

In hopes of mitigating their exposure to heterosexuality, the Anderson’s have taken their kids, Leopold (8) and Fabian (10), to an Inpatient Facility in upstate New York where they will participate in the controversial program known as Theater Camp.

Matt Grella is a racially ambiguous New Yorker who struggles with object permanence. If you are looking to be let down on a daily basis, follow him @Mtgpix.

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