After a Democratic National Convention opening night plagued by disruptions from frustrated Bernie Sanders supporters, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton reminded all attendees this morning that “adhering to proper convention decorum is bae.”

“Polite listening to scheduled speakers is always on fleek,” the former Secretary of State announced at a fundraising breakfast this morning, “and loudly chanting ‘Bernie’ over and over — when we all know he had his chance and blew it — is a sure sign of having zero chill.”

Hillary: "Now Michelle Obama: THERE'S a kween we can ALL say 'yaaas' to."

Hillary: “Now Michelle Obama: THERE’S a kween we can ALL say ‘yaaas’ to.”


Mrs. Clinton then went on to say she was looking forward to “hashtag winning!” in November, before a 24-year-old Swathmore grad working on her campaign leaned over and whispered in her ear that nobody has said “hashtag winning” since 2011.

“Haha, okay, I get it,” Hillary conceded with a good natured laugh before correcting herself. “I get it ‘AF’! Is that right?”

Clinton will speak before the convention on Thursday night.

Get Laughs in Your Inbox From Above Average!
We PROMISE to only send you funny stuff.