Happy Cinco de Mayo, the holiday whose origins evade even the smartest of our friends. Before we head down to Señor Frogs to get smashed, we asked some historians to explain the history of Cinco de Mayo:

expert4

 

“Mexico’s Independence Day. Right?”
– Margeaux Winks, PhD, Boston University

 

expert3

 

“May 5th is the day the Archduke Franz Ferdinand was assassinated, beginning the Mexican-American war, where – during the infamous Bay of Pigs invasion – the French fought Spanish conquistadors and annexed Louisiana to the United States during the Gulf War.”
– Susan Leech, Miami University of Ohio

 

expert1

 

“Celebrating the best May 5th Mexico has ever had. Just… a really, really great day.”
– Dr. Sal Crunch, Yale

 

expert6


 

“Cinco de Mayo roughly translates to “The Mayonnaise,” marking the anniversary of when white colonists traded mayonnaise with the local Mexicans, poisoning thousands of the natives.”
– Dale Dearnheardt, Columbia University

 

expert5

 

“The invention of Negro Modelo.”
– Trelawney Gupta, Freelance

 

expert7

 

“Cinco de Mayo celebrates the relief everyone feels after Star Wars day is over. If I hear May the fourth be with you’ one more time, someone’s Leia buns are gonna fly.”
– Croil Bunk-Peters, Auburn University at Montgomery

 

expert2

 

“I dunno man, I’m drunk.”
– Lara Jones, PhD, University of Chicago

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