It’s boiling hot in Hollywood and we’ve got the bubbly skin to prove it. Come and get your balls sewn up with this hot goss.

Strap in, you slimy little underpants – this week’s sicker than ever. With all this nasty shit talk we’re gonna give you diarrhea, monkeys, and you’re gonna like the way your butt looks, we guarantee it. So pack up your sad little knapsack and get on the school bus, dirt bags…we’ll be yanking your fingernails off again next week.

Razor burnzz,

ok FINALEver try to remember the perfect synonym for “slovenly” or the name of that kid from 8th grade? Well then you and Mrs. Carter have a lot in common. Word on the street is Bey just had it…but she lost it. And I bet YOU wish YOU’d been MORE careful since BOTH Olsen twins saw you. Steve hasn’t seen anything since his garage flooded and left him unconscious. Scandal, anyone??


in touch FINALHmmm, seems like Ellen Pee wants to play tag. So let’s GET HER and TAG HER OUT.  And well, well, well…just how spicy is Air Jordan’s soup? He’s gonna have to serve bread with that. Bewwy happy wittle Bwakey and Wyan gonna kiss on da wiiiips! WOW, wonder how their costars will feel about that. That talentless old man is back.


us FINALUmm, can somebody tell SEX Rogen to give me back my sopping wet pussy?? I know Benedict won’t be any help since he’s in rehab for crumbs where, word is, they wipe your mouth and dust off your lapel 24/7. And what has Britney been hiding about her mellow dude lifestyle?? Is she the chillest bro around, loungin’ on a Sunday and groovin’ to sweet jams? Looks like she’s not stressing anything, Brody.


Star FINALIf you are Cameron Diaz’s Über driver you better check your GPS because she has been waiting for two weeks on the corner of Hollywood and La Cienega. Well she’s doing a whole lot better than Tim Cruz who has been secretly chunks and chunks and chunks in Firenze – that’s Firenze, Italy, chunk-lovers. Zac Efron is going to die someday.


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