Terry… ah jeez. C’mon, brother. As you continue testifying in your civil suit against Gawker for publishing the sex tape you made with your buddy’s wife, maybe lay off all the talk about how I’m not as big as people think I am, cool?

The problem, brother, is that everyone knows you’re actually The Hulkster. When you admit under oath that you (Terry Bollea) don’t actually have a ten-inch dong, it no longer matters if you say that I (Hulk Hogan’s penis) am still ten-inches long, dig? If you ain’t packing a Hamilton under your spandex, then neither is Hulk. It’s just logic, dog.

And yes, I call ten-inchers “Hamiltons.” You can use that when referring to me from now on. You should use that when referring to you from now on. Aren’t there takesies-backsies in court? Y’know, all that “stricken from the record” stuff? You should ask your lawyer if they can get that whole “Hi I’m Terry Bollea and my weiner isn’t ten inches long” thing scrubbed.

Should that fail, you’re just gonna have to double down. Drop a pile-driver of truth on all these clowns. Tell them that no, you’re not a packing a Hamilton. IT’S EVEN BIGGER. Haha! Woo! Catch you in the ring, brother.

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