Hurricane Karl caught many Americans off-guard this past week as he swept up the East Coast, but Karl himself got a little surprise when he hit New York City.

As Karl approached the edge of Manhattan, two uniform men whisked him away to a small building on Ellis Island. Once inside, Karl had to strip down, undergo a tuberculosis examination, and even change his name! Immigration officials at Ellis Island felt that “Karl” came off as a bit too foreign. They explained that it could hold him back, as United States citizens are more likely to hire or have a beer with a cyclone they can relate to.

So goodbye Hurricane Karl, and hello Hurricane Cal!

The name change could have huge payoffs, too. Ellis Island staff members stated that “Cal” was not only “all-American,” but also “25 percent shorter than ‘Karl.’” Now that’s a time-saver!

Naturally, the hurricane had mixed feelings about the entire process. “It was confusing enough when I had to go from ‘Tropical Storm’ to ‘Hurricane.’ It’s like I can barely remember who I am anymore,” admitted Cal, rubbing his eye in disbelief. “Still, I guess I’m happy to have a new lease on life. I dreamed about coming here ever since I was a tiny gust in the South Atlantic.”

While meteorologists across the country applauded Cal’s surge in patriotism, a few did express concerns that the storm was not wearing an American flag pin on any of its swirls.

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