I don’t care how blue their eyes are. I don’t care about their show. Connecticut is boring.

And it’s insane that you do. Yeah, alllllll you people who care, really care, about the Gilmore Girls — what’s going on with you? It was an ok WB show about two rich, white women in Connecticut with no problems and the same name. Is that the show you’re really gonna throw down for? Ugh, I would throw up if I cared at all about The Gilmore Girls.

Look, I loved the talking J. Crew catalogue that was the WB in the 90s. I loved Dawson’s Creek. I loved Roswell. But come on, you can’t still care about them. You can’t care about Pacey or Joey Potter or those hot Roswell teen aliens. Maybe you can care about Buffy, MAYBE. But the goddamn Gilmore Girls? What was the main conflict of that show, not wanting to be as rich as you are? Ugh, give us all a break. I don’t think the people who made the show even gave a fuck:

“Uh, well they are females with the last name Gilmore. Let’s call it that!”
“I dunno, Jim, should we think for more than 4 seconds about this?”
“Ted, if we thought more than 4 seconds about this show, we’d be missing the point of the show.”

Maybe it’s that I never got into the show as a kid. But when I see news articles freaking out over pics of the little Gilmore hugging her boyfriend on the set of the Netflix revival I’m like, “We deserve a Trump presidency.” Because apparently some of us won’t even notice — we’re devoting a serious part of our energy to giving a fuck about The Gilmore Girls.

Whatever, get excited over the pics. Or hate them. Again, I literally don’t give a fuck.

Images via Shutterstock, WBHello Giggles

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