Hey y’all! It’s Ashley here, proud momma of your favorite YouTube-ing clan, The Monsons! It’s Friday and you know what that means: it’s Ask Ashley Day, where I answer a question from one of our 3.5 million subscribers. Today’s lucky “Mon-iac” is YouTube user AlmaFielding52 who writes, “Ashley, which of your children is your favorite?”
Well, Alma, I gotta say… none of them! I love all of my kids equally and I always will, even though Devon does drive the most views on our YouTube channel.
When Todd and I look at our beautiful little goofballs, we have the same love and devotion for each one of them, no matter what Google Analytics says about there being a sharp decline in viewer retention every time little JayLee comes on screen. It just doesn’t matter! The Bible doesn’t say anything about picking and choosing which of your kids to provide for more!
Of course, anyone who’s shared in our ups and downs during the five years we’ve had this YouTube channel knows that things aren’t always easy. Maybe Jared is refusing to eat his greens or Packer has painted on the walls or the sales numbers show that our T-shirt with Marni’s catch phrase (“I don’t want the camawa!”) is selling much worse than the other kids’ shirts on the Monson-Wear website (NEW “MON-IAC” BABY TEE AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER NOW! PERFECT FOR SUMMER!). But, once the heat of the moment is over and I see those smiling faces, I know they’re each a perfect, little blessing.
You have to remember that I am a Christian first, a mother second, and a millionaire vlogger-cum-entrepreneur third. So, if Sheila Dershowitz (our PR woman) tries to tell us not to take Bekka on our kayaking vacation because she’s not driving social media shares ever since she got braces, we’re going to consider it and then respond, “NO!” That’s not how this family works. Of course, if Bekka just happens to get a cold the week before the trip and has to stay at Todd’s mom’s house, that’s just good luck. It’s not something we wanted!
So, without a doubt, I can tell you that I love every single one of my children equally, from Opal all the way down to Isabella! And, as for the little bun I’ve got in the oven, he just got a whopping 700k views on last week’s video, “ULTRASOUND REVEAL!,” so I know I’m going to love him equally too!
Hope that answered your question, Alma! For the rest of you, make sure to subscribe, watch some old videos, check out our clothing shop, pick up our family cookbook (available now on Amazon), follow us on Twitter/Instagram/SnapChat/Vine/Livejournal, and get ready for a new video tomorrow! It’s a compilation of Lilah trying lemons for the first time and if that thing doesn’t pass 50,000 views in the first day, that little fucker is grounded.
Jon Bershad is a New York-based writer and comedian who you can see at the UCB Theatre, follow at @jonbershad, and stalk at jonbershad.com.