After reading the myriad of articles about how sitting is slowly killing us, I became concerned. I’m a chair-all-day kinda gal and according to science, that’s worse than cigarettes. Since I’m a bit of a health nut, I finally decided to try the latest office furniture trend everyone has been talking about: a squatting desk.
I asked some friends if they would dare me to use a squatting desk for a month and they all said, “Glenn, what is a squatting desk.” I bet myself $20 that I could do it. I also wanted to write an article about it and my editor said, “We aren’t asking you to do this, Glenn.” Everything was set, and now all I needed was to find a squatting desk.
It was harder than I thought to find a squatting desk online, because apparently they “don’t exist.” So I made one myself out of a wooden box I found in our supply closet. Worked like a charm.
The desk was a great price: free! When Monday rolled around, I said goodbye to sedentary life and threw away my chair.*
*(editor’s note: We did not tell Glenn to throw away the chair. It was a very nice chair. We had to fish it out of the garbage.)
I started going numb after the first few hours. Mainly in the butt area. I knew that in the long run it would be better for my health, but I wasn’t sure if I could make it through the day. I thought of the $20 I had promised to give myself and decided to stick with it.
The constant squatting is definitely affecting my body. Because I was in the “going poop” position all day, it tricked me into thinking I had to poop more often. I didn’t, but it felt like it.
I also farted a little bit more, which was bad for Katherine, who I sit near.
Today someone told me what a “standing” desk was. It seems weird to me that people would want to use a standing desk when a squatting desk is an option, but hey, to each their own.
Being a good journalist*, however, I borrowed a standing desk from Josh. It wasn’t as fun. So I went back to the squatting desk. Maybe I’m getting used to this whole squatting thing?
*(editor’s note: Glenn’s job description is not, nor has it ever been, “journalist”)
I was in a TON of pain all day, which means it’s working. Today was rough, because I wore high heels to work. Not a great idea because high heels are tiny prisons for your feet to begin with, but squatting made wearing them way more uncomfortable. Lesson: learned.
My body has gotten used to squatting and I’m farting a lot less. This made Katherine – and HR – a lot happier. I can feel my body repairing the years of damage my regular desk had done. I’m loving this new healthy lifestyle. A squat-freak, you could say. I encouraged all my co-workers to call me “Glenn the squat-freak.” So far, only Celeste has taken to it.
Another benefit of a squatting desk is that you can bring it anywhere, so I’ve been taking my squatting desk to different areas of the office for a change of scenery. It’s really helped with my workflow.
I’ve started calling my desk “Lil’ Squattie,” but it made people in the office feel uncomfortable so I stopped. However! I joined an online forum of people who share the same passion. It was me and another woman who kept calling herself “Bongos.” She’s pretty amazing, and claims she’s been into squatting her whole life.
Another milestone is that I visited my doctor and she said there “wasn’t any noticeable change in my overall health,” which was proof that the squatting is working! The finish line is just days away and I can smell that sweet, sweet cash from here.
My thighs are JACKED. I have more energy and I’m way better at jumping. I’ve even taken to squatting while I’m at home watching The Travel Channel. It’s just a way of life now. I look at people standing and think, “Ah, if only you had your butt closer to the ground, in between your legs.” My proudest accomplishment, though, is how this month I’ve been able to inspire others. At least five people at work have started using their own squatting desks.*
*(editor’s note: This is not true.)
After this month, I’ve realized I’m a squatter and always will be. I can see why health professionals everywhere are raving about these desks, and I’m only glad I stuck through it. I’ll never go back to sitting. The best thing, though? Seeing the look on my face as I pulled out the $20 and forked it over to myself. Priceless.
Squat on, y’all!