Yesterday, Owen Ellickson started a rumor on Twitter that Donald Trump can’t swim, which eventually grew into a popular hashtag, #TrumpCantSwim. It’s fun to point out Donald Trump’s weaknesses but this swimming thing doesn’t quite add up: Donald Trump has to be a pretty good swimmer to splash around in the barrel of piss in his bedroom every night.
For years we’ve known that Donald Trump’s favorite way to unwind is to swan dive into a huge barrel of his own piss and do the breaststroke. So it seems strange to assert that the man can’t swim: he’s logged more laps in that piss-barrel than I care to count.
Frequent piss-dunkings are also the only explanation for Trump’s omnipresent urine stench and pee-colored skin. “Not just a spray of urine, but a sustained saturation associated with vigorous swimming is the only way a person could maintain the aura of piss for decades, the way Donald Trump has,” says Columbia University urologist, Dr. Terry Shellers.
So let’s stop tweeting that #TrumpCantSwim, because it’s just not true. Let’s stick to the facts: #TrumpSwimsInABarrelOfPiss.