Every year on the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling apologizes for killing one character. This year, her choice of Severus Snape was highly controversial. But Rowling wasn’t done there. Here’s a followup she just wrote on her Pottermore website.
Dear Harry Potter fans,
I know that many of you are upset that I apologized for killing Snape, while others applauded the choice. However, I just want to say that the one character I am NOT SORRY I killed is Cedric Diggory.
Fuck Cedric Diggory. I hate him. As soon as I wrote him, with his dumb name and his dumb, handsome face, I couldn’t wait for him to get owned by Voldemort. Killing Cedric Diggory was the most satisfying experience I’ve ever had as a writer and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. If you told me that I had to give up all the money I’ve made from Harry Potter unless I brought Cedric Diggory back to life, I would go live in a sewer with zero regrets.
Cedric Diggory can suck my ass.Advertisement
Truthfully, my only regret in life is that I could only kill Cedric Diggory once. If I had my way, the entire fifth book of the series would have been a long description of what a terrible time Cedric Diggory was having in hell, but my dickhole publishers talked me out of it.
Here’s something I never wrote in the books, but that is incontrovertibly true: Cedric Diggory died a virgin. He never even got a handjob. That idiot.
Talk to you next year,
Well, there you have it, Potter fans!