After his failed 2016 presidential campaign, Jeb Bush is now on to bigger and better things. According to Steven, a Best Buy employee to whom Bush spoke at considerable length during a recent electronics shopping trip, the former Florida governor is pursuing some new interests to pass the time.
“Jeb said he was gonna get into brewing his own beer — he ordered a kit on Amazon and everything. He said ‘Can’t wait to kick back with a coupla cool boys,'” Steven noted. “I think he meant ‘cold ones,’ or ‘tall boys’. He kept giving me fist bumps. Well, first we did that thing where one of you thinks it’s a fist bump and the other one thinks it’s a handshake? Anyway, he never even bought the HDMI cables, but he hung out here for like an hour.”
Best Buy wasn’t the only stop on Bush’s redemption tour. According to Gary, a Miami Guitar Center employee, Jeb recently stopped by the store in the hopes of furthering his musical dreams.
“Yeah, Bush came in looking at bass amps, wanted the real top of the line because he was talking to some high school buddies about gettin’ their band back together. Bush said they had a Fleetwood Mac thing going on, only without the ladies. Not sure how much he knows about Fleetwood Mac, but I said ‘Right on, man.’ You wanna buy something, I’ll tell you what you want to hear.”
New hobbies aren’t the only change Bush has made – both men commented on his new look. “He told me the girl at Brooks Brothers said he should try flat-front khakis, since they’re more youthful. They looked fine, I guess,” said Steven. Gary noted that Bush, who many perceived as soft during the campaign, may be trying out an edgier look. “He kept looking down and fiddling with the zipper on his leather jacket, like he wanted people to notice it. I didn’t say anything because I’m pretty sure it was a women’s jacket. Like I said, I’m here to make sales.”
Patrick Monahan is a writer and comedian in New York City. He tweets jokes and photos of Frasier at @pattymo.
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