We’ve all heard the advice.

“Pay attention to how your prospective beau treats the women in his life. If he doesn’t treat them with respect, sooner or later he’ll be doing the same to you.”

However, while everyone will go on and on about watching the ways the guy you’re dating treats waitresses or his mother, there’s one woman in your man’s life that no one seems to want to talk about.

I’m talking about Siri.

Siri Screen Inline Image

Siri is a woman who lives in a box in your guy’s pocket. All day, he asks her to do tasks for him and, ladies, any guy who can’t then take the time to show Siri a little common courtesy is NOT a guy that you want to be trifling with! Believe me!


Here’s an example. Last month, I went on a Tinder date with a guy who seemed perfect. He was a successful oncologist with a great sense of humor and a face so symmetrical, it made my knees buckle.After dinner, we had a little time to kill before the opera he was going to take me to, so we decided to walk by the animal shelter he helps out at. He pulls out his phone and barks into it, “Siri, is it going to rain?”

That’s it. No “please.” No “thank you.” No small talk about Siri’s day to make her feel like she mattered as an individual. Nothing. You better believe I dumped his doctor ass before he could even finish offering to give me his jacket.

Now, I know what you’re asking. “What if my guy doesn’t have an iPhone? What if my guy has an android and uses Cortana?” Well, then you shouldn’t even be dating him in the first place! Cortana is a bigger man-stealing tramp than my roommate Tonya! Any guy who’d consort with a woman like that is a ticking time bomb of douch-itude.

Look, the dating world is hard and sometimes you just want to settle. But, ladies, I’m telling you that it’s important to have standards even if your friends tell you that those standards are “unrealistic” or “stupid” or “clearly some attempt at setting impossible goals so as to make sure I’m never again in a position where I can get hurt.” That’s just respecting yourself.

And, you know what? If those so-called “friends” still don’t get it, they don’t need to be your friends anymore. Like me, you can just hang out all weekend talking to Siri. She’ll always listen.

Unless you go in the subway. She doesn’t work in subways.

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