Hey Calvin, it’s Leo here, or, as my students call me, Prof. Pussy. I just wanted to say that I really like the work you’ve been doing in the field lately. This morning after I woke up to my own burp, I checked my phone to see the Snapchat of you partying it up with some babes on a yacht in Cabo. Solid start, and you got some good hustle, but as the pussy expert in residence, it’s my duty to let you know that you can fit so much more pussy on that boat.

Let me start by nailing down some some basics. It’s imperative that we’re on the same page about what “pussy” really means, so even if some of this sounds redundant, it’s important to be clear:

Pussy isn’t just “pussy.”

yacht-models

It’s vital to remember that while we are primarily concerned with Pussy, Pussy is comprised of Vagina and Body. There is not Pussy without Body. Our job is to minimize Body to maximize Pussy. See the equation below:

V – B = P


So the more B there is, the less room there is for V and, ultimately, P.

You with me, Mr. Harris? Ok great. Here’s where things get a little more complicated: squeezing as much Pussy as possible into your yacht. No matter how big the yacht is, there’s a finite amount of space. Now, if we look at the Fundamental Theorem of Prime Yachts, we know this:

For a yacht to reach its maximum potential, Pussy must fill all available space. Many make the mistake of assuming that Pussy should only be out on the deck. And yes, this is key as this is the Pussy the rest of the world will see. But if you only focus on visible Pussy, you’re missing the whole point.

So what you gotta do is make sure there’s Pussy in the kitchen, the bathrooms, the cargo, underneath the starboard, hanging off the side of the boat—wherever you can find it. Get creative. Have fun. The only exception to this rule is that there shouldn’t be Pussy is at the wheel, because Pussy isn’t there to drive.

Also, Pussy can be on Pussy. Ever heard of laps? Just stack all that Pussy up as high as it’ll go. All available surface area should be plastered in Pussy. As for airspace, I try to keep empty Pussy space at a maximum of 38 cubic inches. I live and breath Pussy, but you also gotta inhale some air if you wanna keep chipping away at that Pussy.

I know that was a lot, so I’m gonna end this little talk here. But next time I see you, Calvin, I want those Pussy numbers to be up and I want that yacht to be bigger. If you have any questions, I’ll be holding office hours with a bunch of Romanian Pussy off the coast of Ibiza this week.

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