CNN anchor Lester Holt has agreed to moderate the next presidential debate from the school locker local bully Donald Trump shoved him into.

“Get in there, stay in there, I’ll decide what questions you ask me,” Trump said, before adding one final noogie. “And stop crying.”


Trump’s opponent Hillary Clinton surprised many by not publicly denouncing Trump’s actions. “Yeah, he could have shut Trump up. He has the microphone switches.”

Holt was last heard repeatedly yelling “You have 20 more seconds, Mr. Trump” to long-since abandoned school hallway.

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