Today, in the offices of Conlan and Sturge, a mid-sized asset management firm in Chicago, the loudest man in a meeting convinced the dumbest man in a meeting that he was correct.

“It happens maybe every day,” commented Jill Leinert. “Jason is the loudest person in every meeting. He interrupts, he almost shouts and talks in this very dry, confident way that makes everyone assume he’s correct. He rarely is.”

Other members of the team agree with Leinert’s assessment. “Once I asked where we keep the filters for the coffeemaker in the common area. Wendi started to tell me, then Jason cut her off and bellowed, ‘No, no, no, under the sink.’ I looked even though I knew he was straight up wrong. But he was so loud…I looked.”

We spoke with Peter, the dumb man that was convinced of Jason’s loud point. “Who would be so loud if they weren’t right. Are sirens wrong? Are car horns wrong? Is my dog wrong? No, those loud things are always dead on. So yeah, I agree with Jason that all the interns should wear shorts and tuxedo shirts.”

Jason could not be reached for comment but could be heard in every corner of the office.

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