When lifelong pizza men Aldo and Flavio tried to sneak a quick kiss as their pies cooked up real nice in the oven, they had no idea what a big can or worms they were opening up — or rather, can of pizza sauce! With just one smooch, their big, Italian mustaches got all tangled up, and everyone could see that they’d kissed!

“Not a lot of-a people know that-a to mi, kissing other pizza men is-a most bellissimo of all” shrugged the older Flavio, who always smells like pepperonis. “But-a frankly, that’s none of their-a business. Now sparisci dalla mia vista!

Aldo, who owns his own pizza restaurant only two blocks from Flavio’s, had simply dropped by his friend’s shop to put some finishing sprinkles of cheese on a secret pie he’d been assembling for his wife in his off hours. He had no idea a kiss was on the menu until it was happening!


If you have dark black mustache hairs on your pizza, don’t send it back or you won’t get a kiss!


“Mi a-never think of Flavio in this-a way before… but-a mi like it so much! His mustache, it-a tickle me so, and smell juuust like a pepperoni. But then, mama mia!” shouts Aldo, pretending to pull his face away from the embrace, miming the distinct tug he felt on his upper lip. “Our big-a mustache, they get all tangled up! Everyone in-a Flavio’s pizza restaurant know we kiss. But ah…”

The younger, fatter pizza man smiles softly as he holds the hand of the man whose mustache he’s still knotted to. “Mi no-a care. Bellissimo!

Aldo’s secret pizza was delicious. He and Flavio have no plans to marry, just to kiss on the lips every day until they are dead. Now they both smell like pepperonis.

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