Whenever you fall asleep in your cozy little bed, there’s a decent chance you’ll unknowingly devour a live spider. It’s a scientific fact! But before these little critters get acquainted with your insides, you’d better get acquainted with them first.

1. Mr. Cuddles

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Ever feel your face tingle at night? No, that’s not the wind. It’s Mr. Cuddles’ fuzzy-wuzzy legs! He’ll be the little spoon, and your esophagus can be the big spoon.

2. Amanda

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You must be quite the lothario, ‘cuz you’ve got a lady in your bed! Amanda’s already gone through heartbreak once, so treat this black widow with respect.

3. Daniel Web-ster

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This amazing arachnid is a total political junkie, not to mention a great public speaker. Maybe you’ll find a similar way with words after he crawls into your mouth.

4. Mommie Dearest


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There’s nothing quite like a mother’s love. She can’t wait to see her hundreds of children hatch, but for now, she needs a nice place for her and her egg sac to stay warm. Maybe inside your digestive system?

5. Whiterman

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This stylish spider only goes to the coolest clubs and listens to the hippest indie bands. Maybe he can whisper some music recommendations as he inches past your ear?

6. Buzz

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Poor Buzz has hair everywhere but on his head, so he could use a little self-esteem boost. He’d like to get really close to you, if you would give him a chance.

7. Goggles

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In this day and age, you almost have to be a hyper-focused workaholic. That sums up Goggles to a tee. He never takes a break—only ever sitting, watching, waiting for you to come back to your room.

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