North Korea shocked the world yesterday when it fired a KN-11 ballistic missile 300 miles into the Sea of Japan, or Kim Jong Un pointed at the water with his finger and gleefully shouted “Pew! Pew! Take that, other countries! Pew!”
Regardless of which one it was, Kim’s top aides congratulated their imperial leader on a job well done: “I think you leveled all of Seoul, or Tokyo, or New York City, or whichever one you’re currently angry at!”
Still on a high from possibly firing a warhead (or more likely it was all in his vivid imagination), Kim later piloted a drone strike over several key infidel targets in Southern Asia. Alternatively, he might have been playing one of those Crash Bandicoot levels where you fly a plane and try to collect the boxes.
You know what? It was probably the latter, because an animated bandicoot is generally not visible on most military-grade drone strike consoles.
“Meh, who cares? Look how happy he is!” said North Korean general Ri Yong-gil. “He either thinks he destroyed his enemies, or he finally got those Good Charlotte knock-off CDs from 2003 we ordered through our Malaysian smuggling contacts. He loves Good Charlotte.”