Narcissists across the country gathered on the National Mall in Washington, D.C. to protest the media’s coverage of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump’s narcissism and not their own. “The media’s reporting is completely unacceptable,” said the protest’s organizer and keynote speaker Wolfgang Robertson “in constantly covering Donald Trump’s self-centered behavior, while remaining silent on me. I deserve a lot of attention too!”
The event drew a crowd of 9,552 and featured 9,552 keynote speakers. While most keynote speakers focused mainly on the unfairness in the media reporting Trump’s tweets while ignoring their Instagram selfies, keynote speaker and psychiatrist Veronica Woodbridge warned of the dangers inherent in this unbalanced reporting.
“The media’s sole focus on Donald Trump’s narcissism runs the risk of hurting other narcissists’ inflated sense of self worth. This can be very damaging, especially to young narcissists with still-developing egos, who may begin to realistically see their place in the world and altogether cease being narcissists.”
The protest ran smoothly until the group attempted to vote for a president of the movement and no candidate was able to garner more than one vote. After the 25th round of voting with no clear winner, it was decided all 9,552 candidates would be president, with each president being more important than the others.
The gathering ended with a surprise appearance by Donald Trump, who thanked the protesters for drawing attention to all the attention he was receiving.